| I Would Say 'To Kill A Mockingbird' Captured The Most Interesting Part Of Our Lives |
| As I get older and reflect on my life, my mind always drifts back to the time I defended handyman Tom Robinson against those trumped-up, racially... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:53 -0400) |
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| I Can't Believe I'm Being Forced To Sit On This Couch While Jay Leno Interviews Josh Hartnett |
| Don't get me wrong: It's great being on the show. Love Jay, love the audience, really. And this Josh…Hartnett, is it? He seems like a good... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:47 -0400) |
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| Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together |
| WASHINGTON—"Though we're working to fix things, the situation has become OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE—I just spilled coffee on myself," said the institute's chairman. |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:27 -0400) |
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| Clinton Questions Obama's Ability To Greet World Leaders |
| CHARLESTON, WV—Hillary Clinton once again attacked Barack Obama on the issue of experience Tuesday, this time questioning the Illinois... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:27 -0400) |
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| "Law Order" Actor Arrested |
| Former Law & Order star Dennis Farina was arrested and charged with a felony after he took a loaded, unregistered handgun to an airport.... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:22 -0400) |
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| [audio] Obama Voicemail Message Not That Inspiring |
| Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:15 -0400) |
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| Jenna Bush Married |
| First daughter Jenna Bush was married to Henry Chase Hager on her father's ranch in Crawford, TX. What do you think? |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Tue, 13 May 2008 15:56:17 -0400) |
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| [audio] Bear Searches For Food Inside Backpacker |
| Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Tue, 13 May 2008 01:00:34 -0400) |
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| Toddler Makes Convincing Case For Being Afraid Of Horse |
| ACHILLE, OK—Despite only recently gaining the ability to form complete sentences, 2-year-old Trevor Cornett was able to present a clearheaded... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Tue, 13 May 2008 01:00:30 -0400) |
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| Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal |
| LOS ANGELES—Even though men with this hairstyle comprise just 3 percent of the US populace, activists argue, they make up 80 percent of TV villains and assholes. |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Mon, 12 May 2008 03:00:00 -0400) |
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| [audio] Rubik's Cube Solved With Hammer |
| Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Mon, 12 May 2008 01:00:36 -0400) |
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| Optimism Can't Beat Cancer |
| A recent medical study suggests that your chances of surviving head and neck cancer are the same if you have a positive outlook or a negative... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Mon, 12 May 2008 01:00:33 -0400) |
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| Undercover Fireman Infiltrates Three-Alarm Blaze |
| CHICAGO—Plainclothes firefighter Rick Dodd, 32, was commended Tuesday for his successful monthlong operation to infiltrate and eventually... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Mon, 12 May 2008 01:00:03 -0400) |
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| Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box |
| NEW YORK—Gondry greeted members of the press by placing the box over his head and declaring that he was a lonely building without a skyline to call home. |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Sat, 10 May 2008 01:00:52 -0400) |
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| Local Bar Comes Out As Gay |
| SEATTLE—"Once I saw two guys kissing in the bathroom, but I thought they were just drunk. Now it makes perfect sense, though," resident Frank Klein said. |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Fri, 09 May 2008 01:00:16 -0400) |
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| Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda |
| WASHINGTON, DC—An 8,976-foot foul ball off the bat of Washington third baseman Ryan Zimmerman crashed through the U.S. Capitol Building rotunda Sunday afternoon, prompting both the Nationals and the opposing Pittsburgh Pirates to gasp, turn... |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Thu, 08 May 2008 01:00:17 -0400) |
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| Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States |
| WASHINGTON—In what many believed to be a related incident, a blueprint of New York's proposed Freedom Tower was reported missing the day after the Pope's visit. |
| Read More...(Source: The Onion - Wed, 07 May 2008 01:00:10 -0400) |
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